do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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