Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
