fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
