Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
