You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
