Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
