dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
