Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
