the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Your penis caused this!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
