i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
