i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
