I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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