dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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