He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
