Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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