is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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