Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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