You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
