He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
this boner is exhausting
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
