Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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