I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
