It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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