I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
