Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
accomplished twins. life is a go
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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