i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
