I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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