Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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