Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
