Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
