I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
