what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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