he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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