U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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