pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
