That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
