my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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