I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
