Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it's like iHOP with fire
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
