the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
