STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
