can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
