ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
