I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't deserve a penis
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
