you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
