ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
