Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
