i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
He kissed a someone with a penis
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
