Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
