She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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