Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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