Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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