Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
