Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
