I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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