so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
